I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
