i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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