So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
