Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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