Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
