Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
