he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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