im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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