my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
