i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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