I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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