love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
