as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
