i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
wow bdsm is so cute
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