Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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