sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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