forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
