so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
