Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
