oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wish my penis had a tongue
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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