i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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