ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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