We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
