We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
