I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
