i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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