my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
