I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
did you just send me my own nude
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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