no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
