Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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