he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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