I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
