Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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