Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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