Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Randomize
