New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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