I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
