My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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