His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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