I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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