You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
