guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
