I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
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