What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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