There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
