I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
