Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
