Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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