He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
