the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
