Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
