My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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